Looking back on 2012, I'm seeing the first three months of the year as a purge on negative factors in my life.
JANUARY TO MARCH - Kicked When I'm Down
In this period, I spiralled deeper into depression than I had done before. I crossed the line on more than one occasion, and got to a point of no return in a number of situations. I couldn't give a flying fuck for any of the things I have lost in that period. I was a wreck, I was a shadow of my former self and I am convinced I was months off a complete mental breakdown.
SINCE APRIL - Gains and Regains
I've been on a journey since April. Bit by bit, my confidence and well-being has returned to me, and I'm a far happier and contented person than I have been in the last two years. My new job is a contributory factor to my happiness, I'm so much more content there, I'm not stressed to the hilt or negative.
One by one, I've reconnected with those most important to me. It's taken time and effort, meeting in the middle and explaining the situation and making sense of it, but my true friends who know me well enough and care enough for me have hauled me back from the brink, and been happy to welcome me back. This year alone has been an eye-opener in terms of knowing who my real friends are, and I'm grateful to each and everyone of them. There's some I've fought hard to claw back from everything that's happened over the last two years, there's some who have just naturally moved forward as I have, and there's some who just don't want to know.
My attitude to life has changed so much so that I couldn't care less what certain people think. So long as I have those who matter the most in my life, I'll always have the greatest prizes of all.
I end this year having got a new car, a new job, new prospects and new happiness. Anything I've lost is immaterial, it doesn't matter. I've gained and regained so much more.